It was frightening to me to identify with Bambi. The challenges and tasks that lay before him/me. Moving from 'son' to 'dad'. All of a sudden, my generation moving into the role of the last generation seemed less like the mental exercise of a freshmen philosophy course and more like real life.

I've grown accustomed to, and even comfortable with my move into the role of "dad" in my world, but it is a weird sensation to think about, not Bambi, but Bambi's dad. Yeah, I know my son is only 7, and that there will likely be many more forest fires for me to fight, but I've got a few under my belt now, and the confidence that comes from experience makes the next one not so daunting. I've survived before and that makes me believe I'll survive the next one too. I just never noticed Bambi's dad, until I listened to my dad last week.

I am learning, I think, that life will never be without it's frightening, and difficult challenges. I will never be at a point in my life where I can just "coast" downhill. That "Ahhh, I've made it! Soul, take thine ease. Eat, drink and be merry" moment is a moving target. It will always be just out of reach. I think, in fact, that it was as foreboding for Bambi's dad to step away as it was for Bambi to step up. Do you ever think about that? Do you think that maybe it's meant to be that way? That life isn't meant to be taken on cruise control?
Not only did I lose my grandmother, but my mom lost her mother, and just about a year ago, when my grandfather died, I watched my grandmother lose her husband. Someday my son will lose his grandmother, and at the same time will watch me lose my mother. Then, almost like the song that never ends, someday someone will lose me...when my song here on this earth ends.
Goodbye Grandmother. I will miss you. Tell Granddad "hi" for me, and I'll see you later.

Yep. The whole circle of life thing is sobering. I still have one grandparent and part of me really doesn't want that generation to pass. Thanks for your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteyou might wanna read some hinduism
ReplyDeletesamsara & stuff